First I have to start with the positive, I had a lot of help mentally and therapeutic help. Not a small thing to help someone when they look like poop. I actually did not call a couple people because I thought I could handle me and the kids while Steve was up to a huge thing at work. My mom, she stepped in. She did not even know what I was trying to balance. She just arrives at the occasion; to she what she could do. That, to me, is the a huge gift. She is not an emotional person. And so she does what she can do. You may hear me speak a lot about her. You have to understand, her family, her siblings, it all adds up. It shows me; it reminds me the challenging life she had with my dad. She had to balance so much.
So I am in a weird movement of bodily…zone stuff. I wish I had the resources to go take Spanish immersion lessons in Argentina (as I did 4 years ago). I have trouble remembering nouns in any language I lose any name or word in Spanish. The big issues I can remember for timing, but in the whole world of writing,…have cost a lot of valued abilities of value. It is not affecting me with no bad effect. Just a general level of confusion.
My mom, if I know her well, would not be crying. But I wonder if she is not a bit frustated with how the path of her youngest child. She would never say it, but watching her playing with Tommy today was incredible. He loves her with a level of respect and loving that I don’t remember seeing between Tommy and anyone. He cried as we left. To me, a calm mom who takes care of a loud toddler is a huge gift.