Grumpy vs. Silly

Some days I am so grumpy. I was today. Under the antibiotic crunks I am sleeping 12-14 hours a day. I am so not myself. There was just fear and discomfort this week. Seriously, because I had a minor infection. It was a urinary tract one but the antibiotics put me in a challenging zone.

Then I started to think a lot about my breast cancer bud and the misery she has faced in the two years I have known her. And I makes me appreciate what I have. She is the main money winner. I have Steve earning. And he never doubts why we are staying (at about ($1300.00 a month) within Kaiser…because in the bigger picture, it is easier for us.

Since I have been on the medication I have not been so normal. And Steve’s load is heavy as his team moved and people who report to him are miles, states away. He loves it, but then rushes home to take care of the boys and give me a break.

I guess the key is to look at the bigger picture. I wonder what my breast cancer bud is thinking about right now. Her daughter is 13.

In general, while I feel physically challenged, I feel fortunate. Not just what I had before, but the two girls who I talk to via email at least every other day. This summer, as the kids have taken over our time, I don’t know about Toby and Bea, but for me, I miss them very much. My memory is so bad at the moment and I know them, they would just laugh.

Sigh. I am so lucky. Shannon saw me yesterday and today and was simply there. She took Paco away to get the break from his crazy mother overnight. I could forget her name and she would laugh.

So I guess we can always look at a situation where we lose and skill or a plan and find it sunny or weirdly ironic. I am quite lucky. I’ll just stick to sunny.

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