In general, I feel fortunate. I love in a world with family and friends that I get daily.
And then a hit evening. It is late and I am actually relieved for the cold with is balancing out the challenging of sleeping normal when on steroids. But for some reason, I wake up and I get teary. I don’t live this. I used to be a big crier, but now that I see the power of pushing it away, I try to do so. I think my main sadness tonight is not getting plans for the boys I had thought. Anyone can have sad ends, planing them can really suck.
I really need to plan ahead as to what I want to send to the boys. What do I, specifically, want to show them. In the same moment, I am calm and sad. They have learned already about the family we are so blessed to be a part. But what I cannot do right now is do the part of that. Paco already knows. He loves his 2nd cousins and knows what is there for him in Ireland. But Lemon has no true idea. I think that is the irony of why I get sad. My family is so awesome that anyone will try to help out.
So I guess I need to change my role I have on that one. I need to remember that I did help Steve’s side speak Spanish. I helped. My family has me covered.
Sigh, my family. There is no day we are simply juggling everyone’s challenges and trying to help. That is a good plan to keep things at focused.
Aug 29, 2011 @ 20:50:16
Erin – don’t feel sad that Lemon is too young to understand. Trust me, he will read your blog when he gets older. What a wonderful legacy to give your family! I, and a group of friends, have been writing a book about a friend who was restricted to a wheel chair for the last 8 years of her life.from rheumatoid arithritis. Her’s was a life filled with pain and suffering. Like yours, however, her life was filled with love, hope and joy.
Your blog should be made into a book. It would be an inspiration to all. Possibly you and your family can gain inspiration from a book by Gilda Radner titled ‘It’s Always Something’. She said “I am fighting my life against cancer…I hope my story will help others who live in a world of medication and uncertainty”… Love and prayers, Lloyd and Nancy Coyne
Aug 30, 2011 @ 01:58:40
You are beautiful as always.