I had a challenging parent-toddler morning. Then a challenging 7 year-old child afternoon. Lemon seems so stubborn compared to Paco. I wonder if in 5 years Lemon will be especially manipulative. At 2, he is more manipulative than Paco has ever been. This said, those boys keep me in focus. Because of the stand-offs, I forgot about having cancer for four hours. I know this seems like a small amount of time. But for me, it is a first.
This said, I forget why I obsess about negative comments. Poor Judy, every time she said anything that could have been rephrased in a more positive way, I revised the statement. I teased her a great deal when she did not like Grits. She made a Barbara face while Steve ate them. She acted as though they were really stinky fish raw at the table and no one should ever eat them. A few days before, Lemon and I were eating ice cream at the table and Judy decided to join us at the table. She pulled out gefilte fish (so stinky) and ate it next to us.
Poor Judy, every time she said a declarative statement or expressed a strong opinion that seemed pushy, my nerves twitched. This was not to protect me, but to remind her of who she is. She is someone open and tolerant. Ironically, if I were truly tolerant, I would let her talk without having her daughter-in-law give a review of the statement.
Today, I got to school and was talking to a parent. She did not like daylight savings time (PDT). She said, with determination, that she thinks we should drop it all together. I don’t object to the concept, but rather I do object to being self-righteous about it. She is a morning person, she wants more sun in the morning and not at night. I had to use an excuse to sort out something with another parent to get away. I wanted to say, really? Do you know why we have it? What kind of research has been done? Blah? Blah? But, no, I walked ahead to the other parent. I am bossy at home. But when it comes to worldly issues, I think most opinions have something we need to learn from. Good or bad, we need to learn all the angles.
So in my home, with my rules and my kids, I am soooo bossy..but in the outside world, I do try to avoid it. Part of this is cancer related, but part is due to my older child expressing drama about so many things. I wonder, will he remember why we squabbled? Does he not know that if he leaves that lego on the floor, the chances are high his little brother will step on it or throw it?
Perhaps my immediate goal should be to retrain myself to be tolerant and less snippy. And if the parent speaks of not liking Daylight Savings Time again, I’ll say, “I realized it is likely safer for evening drives. Steve is exhausted at the end of the day, so I would rather he drive his long commute home in daylight rain than nighttime rain.” It is a minor point to make, but at least it is on the positive side.