Monthly Archives: July 2010

Positive View of Side Effect

I had been getting emotionally doubtful of Avastin. The side effects I was getting at the beginning are not obvious now. Where were they? Was it not killing cancer cells?

Then, I am comforted by a huge nosebleed. A common side effect.

Positive Side Effect

I have been off Tarceva since Friday due to the toosh issues. While it tortures your skin, for some reason, many people have thicker eye lashes. I realized today, mine don’t look quite so dramatic. Interesting. Not worth the skin issues nor diarrhea, but interesting.

I restarted tonight, so I don’t think I’ll start using mascara any time soon.

Things I Am Not Ready to Do.

There is a bad movie, PS I Love You. The movie wins me over with the Irish effect. I am not a Hilary Swank fan. Gerard Butler yes. With a fake Irish accent, even more. So Butler is the husband that dies young. In the year following his death, his grieving widow finds letters and gifts which he planted. They exist to help her move on. It is not a great film, and I don’t think it is considered a wonderful novel. But I had a gut feeling, and I was correct: the character dies from a brain tumor.

I am not that organized. What would I write to each kid? What would I plan for the future? I did tell Steve tonight: passports, speaking Spanish, and visiting our family in Ireland. He thought we should get the passports now. Paco’s expired; Lemon is without.

Shan was saying today that it seems as though we know more and more people suffering from cancer. I supposed it is the age we are entering. In one’s 4th decade, perhaps the rate jumps. The rate of acquaintances with cancer would naturally be higher. Friends, the parents of friends are fighting similar battles; it sucks.

Today, I had a huge craving for pancakes. This is rare anomaly, so Paco, Lemon and I went to iHop. The woman in the next booth was clearly bald under her hat. We compared notes (breast cancer) and compared good attitudes. Sometimes, that attitude is hard to maintain. The simplicity of stress in today’s world is simple indeed. But, then so is solving it. Today, Paco was driving me crazy. Good words, patience, and quiet stubbornness helped. I just hope the stubborn kindness keeps this damn tumor out of my head.

Uh, Lost My Phone

I went to UCSF today for Avastin (more later) and then to Kaiser in Oakland (to follow up on the down under issues). Love the physician, but I think I left my phone in the exam room!

Drugs are Amazing

I have been feeling so awful for a couple of days: fatigued, sore, nauseous. I was not incapaciated, just icky. Today, suddenly I noticed I was not feeling as horrible (5 minutes ago). I had taken a dose of Zofran, the anti-nausea med; and my arms still hurt, my toosh as well, but I am not miserable. I drank half of a root beer. Suddenly, I am not about to pass out.

Wow. The Temodar started to wear out its welcome and the Zofran gave me a small appetite. And Tommy read in his crib and played a cool Arthur (PBS) game. I got 20 min of power sleep.

That said, the minute Steve walks in the door, I am crawling into bed.

Regarding Bea’s Comment

The irony: I bought 3 bags of peas for the kids to eat peas and for my shin splints. In 4 weeks, there were none left (Lemon loooves peas). So actually had to sit on an ice pack. My kids really love vegetables. I am nauseous and feel icky. There is laundry everywhere and the floor has Lemon’s food all over it. But I took my last Temodar for the cycle. I am off Tarceva until Monday to let my toosh heal. Tomorrow, I had better get some new peas.

Dear Bea, My Sister in GBM

Oh my goodness. You had the best advice. It is only you to whom I would have listened well. I am sitting on an ice pack. And the pain is subsiding. The itching, subsiding.

And to those of you who I have mocked in my head, those with back pain or hemorrhoid trouble; I apologize. I, arrogantly, thought that my aches and pains were worse than yours. Then I got a small, stiffening pain in my right hip, and the hemorrhoids flared.  Your pains in a small dose could be considered worse. Hives are frustrating, soreness is challenging, but at least I can move. Lemon is not sleeping and I still put him in his crib with a book, let Paco watch TV, and amd sitting on the bed, on the ice pack. I cannot take Ibuprofen, but ice is working. Ahhhhhhhhhhh

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